Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
