I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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