guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
