K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.