cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.