She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.