are you wasted or are you getting laid?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.