I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
