friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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