You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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