Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
