My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
