literally had 100 drinks last night.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
