Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
