Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
