Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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