threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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