We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
