yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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