If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize