I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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