saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
