How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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