there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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