This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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