The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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