Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
