I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize