I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
