but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
