He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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