I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So many bounce houses so little time
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think your dad took our porno
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
