Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
