I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
