the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
