if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
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Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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