I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
