who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
