Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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