You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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