Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
