you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
