he wants to bone in the snuggie
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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