He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
it glows. i had to have it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
