Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
