I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
is that a dick in a sweater?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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