At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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