woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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