I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
