I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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