I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
