That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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