In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize