i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
