Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
