Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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