After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
